Do You Rehash Old Arguments?
By Editor. Filed in Relationship Guide |
It is normal to think of things that have happened in your life and wish that they’re turned out differently. With the benefit of hindsight it is usually simple to see what you should have, could have or would have changed about a particular situation. Of course, it is never as clear cut when you’re faced with the situation in question.
While wishing that things had turned out differently is something that we all do from time to time, it is easy to spend too much time trying to change the past. To think “if only I…”
While it is understandable that you remind yourself of what happened to make sure that it doesn’t happen again, it is important to take whatever lessons you can draw onboard and then let it go and look ahead. Dwelling in the past, particularly moping about old hurts, is not going to help your relationship recover and strengthen for future growth. It justs traps you into feeling bad because there is totally nothing you can do about past events. The only thing that you can change is how you view it.
If this sounds like you then it is time to stop obsessing about the past, stop wasting time wishing things were different and just accept it and move on. This is something that I have struggled with at times but with the help of a few tiny words I am finally letting it go. Now when I begin drifting off into regret mode I think: It is what it is. This is usually enough to stop that line of thought and re-centers me back into the present. If you find yourself constantly dipping into the past and rehashing old arguments then try accepting the past by saying those 5 magic words: It is what it is.
(Then you can move onto the really important question: What Are You Going To DO About It? - deleted)
